


Zuko's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

by All_About_That_Ace



Series: The Shame Basement [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: AFTER (checks dates) ALMOST 3YRS, BACK ON MY BULLSHIT, Hi!, M/M, The Puppetmaster - Freeform, bc this episode is really hard to make funny, but also bc ive been working on a not-funny fic recently and switching gears was harder than i hoped, homicide Hama is here to fuck things up, i cant believe yall are still here, so i kind of gave up partway through, so look forward to that, there's a surprise cameo that i dont want to give away, welcome naughty children it's pain time, yoooooooo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 05:27:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20755079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_About_That_Ace/pseuds/All_About_That_Ace
Summary: Zuko knew exactlyonescary campfire story.Whydid it have to be the one that was true?





	Zuko's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

> WELCOME BACK TO THE SHAME BASEMENT YOU THIRSTY FUCKERS. THERE IS N O E S C A P E.
> 
> I haven't added to this in a while and you can expect any updates to this series to take this long because I'm still not sure how much I feel like writing for this series so get used to it and also sorry.
> 
> **If you haven't read the previous contributions "The Shame Basement series", parts of this story will not make much sense. **(like why some of the characters can get away with saying shit like 'Jesus Christ')** If you're too lazy to read said story and just plan to go with whatever is written in this story **(which I admittedly do more often than I should) **good luck.**
> 
> **Pairings: **Zuko/Sokka
> 
> **Timeline: **we're jumping to _The Puppetmaster!_ Let's all welcome Homicide Hama!
> 
> **Warnings (still the exact same): **strong language, implied sexual situations, sexual language, switching of tenses bc I am incompetent with those, AU, OOC-ness galore because Zuko was OOC as fuck when he woke up from his angst coma so I can do whatever I want with that. No Beta.
> 
> Full moons actually last about 3 days, did you know? Actually, technically, a 100% full moon lasts like a minute, but it appears full for roughly 3 days. That said, there will be a little tweaking for this installment. The group will arrive the night before the first full moon. So it goes:
> 
> Waxing moon – found by Hama, stays at inn
> 
> Daytime – shit happens
> 
> First full moon – shit happens
> 
> Daytime – shit happens
> 
> Second full moon – Katara learns about bloodbending
> 
> **Disclaimer: **Guess whose life is still fucking empty? That's right, this bitch's. Also, there is more discussion of _The Bell Ringer_ — aka, _Notre-Dame de Paris _— and thus there will be some quotes of the English translations of some songs. They are also not mine.

_It was a myth, a tall tale whispered in the shadows of the Fire Nation:_ _ The Moon Witch._

_Many years ago, when the Fire Nation had been rounding up the barbaric waterbenders at the bottom of the world, they captured a demon in disguise – a being of terrible, unholy power, who would twist _twist **twist **_you until there was nothing left inside, until you were just as empty as she was._

_The Fire Nation had been merciful, at first, letting the barbarians live out the rest of their natural life span in the detention centers, until one night, under the glow of the full moon, the Witch broke free, leaving the broken shells of the guards behind._

_They had all been snapped like so much wood, their bones in pieces, their bodies in inhuman shapes. There was not a single blemish on their skin._

_They had been drained of blood._

_The remaining barbarians were sentenced to death, and the Fire Nation never took a waterbender prisoner again, lest the Witch choose another vessel._

_Legend has it, if you go out alone when the full moon reaches the center of the sky, the Witch will steal your blood and bar your soul from the spirit world, and none will ever hear your screams but her._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

It was a story. Just a story!

Then _why _was Zuko chained to a wall?

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Zuko**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"…like little Nini is still trying to get warm," Katara whispered dramatically.

Sokka clung to Zuko's arm as the firebender looked at Katara, impressed. The story itself wasn't particularly scary, but the way Katara told it made it a lot creepier than it was.

"Do you guys hear that?" Toph asked suddenly, laying her hand flat on the dirt. "There…. There's _people _under the mountain. They're _screaming_."

"Nice try, Toph," Sokka scoffed, still clinging to Zuko's arm.

"No! I'm _serious_, there's something–!" Her fingers dug into the soil. "…It stopped."

"All right, now I'm getting scared," Aang admitted quietly, inching closer to Katara.

"New rule," the waterbender said, "no ghost stories from Toph."

"I _wasn't_–"

"Zuko, do you know any Fire Nation ghost stories?" Katara asked, ignoring the tiny earthbender. Sokka looked up at the prince, no longer clinging to his arm but cuddled into his side.

"No plays!" Sokka added, poking Zuko's arm decisively.

_Well this is awkward._

"I know _one_," Zuko said after a brief pause, "but it's not really… appropriate."

"C'mon, Ani," Sokka whined. "Tell the story."

"It has a lot of derogatory language about waterbenders," Zuko said, trying to get the others to move on.

"We know you don't think like that anymore," Katara assured him. "It's ok."

"I'm not sure I remember the ending."

"Don't insult us, yes you do."

"It's about why the Fire Nation stopped taking waterbenders prisoner," Zuko finally admitted, not daring to look up to see Sokka or Katara's reactions.

"Wh-what?"

"The Fire Nation used to take waterbenders as prisoners of war, then suddenly stopped," Zuko said. "There's a lot of rumors about why, and one of them became a ghost story."

"Tell it to us."

Zuko finally looked up. Katara's eyes bored into his. Sokka squeezed his side encouragingly.

"Tell us the story, Ani."

Zuko took a deep breath and stared into the fire.

"It's a myth, a tall tale whispered in the shadows of the Fire Nation: _The Moon Witch_…."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"…and none will ever hear your screams but her."

Katara's hands were clenched beneath Aang's soothing touch. Sokka burrowed deeper into Zuko's arms. Toph didn't seem to know what to do with herself, idly tracing patterns in the dirt.

"Well that's horrifying," Sokka said, breaking the silence. "I'm not gonna get _any _sleep tonight. Toph, give Zuko and I some privacy please?"

"_Sokka!"_ Katara screeched, scandalized.

"_What?_ I'm not getting any sleep anyway, might as well get some fun out of it."

Zuko bit down on his knuckle and Aang giggled quietly as the siblings argued, Toph enthusiastically cheering the two on.

"You have no sense of tact!"

"You just don't understand how great sex is. _And you never ever will._"

"_You're not the boss of me!"_

"Hello, children."

"_Holy fuck!"_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

If Zuko were to describe Hama in one word, it would have to be "creepy". Not that she had acted particularly creepy, other than appearing from the dark of the woods, but she reminded him a little too much of Li and Lo. Did all old women look the same or something?

She seemed sweet, giving them tea and shelter and food. Kind of like Uncle without the unwanted advice. Except not like Uncle because, despite all the jokes, Uncle had aged fairly gracefully. Hama looked like a skeleton barely held together by her far-too-pale skin.

Zuko knew he shouldn't judge people by appearance (duh), but in this instance he couldn't help it. Not only did Hama seem like some bad horror trope, but the last time he'd been taken in by conveniently kind people, it hadn't turned out so well.

"_Old hag_," Sokka muttered angrily from his place beside Zuko, reminding Zuko of another reason he wasn't Hama's biggest fan.

Like Sokka, Zuko hadn't been impressed by Hama's insistence that everyone get separate rooms. The boyfriends had been too tired to argue the night before, but they planned to speak with her about it before lights out that night.

_And if she says no, I'll just sneak into his room._

"Full moon's coming." Zuko slowed down, carefully listening to the group of villagers. _Why would someone in the Fire Nation care about the full moon?_

"What're you doing to prepare?"

"I'm boarding up all the windows."

"I'm tying leashes on all my kids."

The GAang passed the villagers. (_Sokka must never know I think of everyone as "the GAang"._) Their voices faded away.

"What were they talking about?" Sokka wondered aloud.

"People have been disappearing."

_Huh?_

The group turned to Toph, the earthbender seemingly unconcerned as she carefully balanced a basket of groceries on her head.

"I've been eavesdropping," Toph admitted candidly. "_No one _pays attention to the little blind girl. Morons probably think I'm deaf, too. I heard people talking about the woods, how others get lost in there on full moons. Nobody knows what happens to them."

"This reeks of spirit world shenanigans," Sokka pointed out.

"We need to search the town and find out what the villagers did to the environment to make the spirits mad," Aang said, sounding almost ready to head off right that second.

"And then you can sew up this little mystery lickety-split, Avatar style!" Sokka gestured grandly to the smiling airbender.

"Helping people, it's what I do."

"It must be so weird, stuck in the spirit world," Toph mused.

"It is. They don't even have bathrooms!"

_Why didn't Hama warn us about the full moon?_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Sokka**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

A waterbender. Hama was a _waterbender_. A _Southern Water Tribe _waterbender.

Sokka had never seen Katara so happy, or Zuko so sickened.

_"I was stolen from my home…."_

The firebender had flinched, staying tense throughout the story, barely touching his food.

_"They came again and again, each time rounding up more of our waterbenders and taking them captive."_

Sokka wanted to comfort him, but Hama had ushered them into seats on opposite ends of the table.

_"I was led away in chains. The last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe."_

Katara went to wrap her arm around the older woman as Sokka laid his foot against Zuko's.

"How did you get away?" _And why did you stay in the Fire Nation?_

"I'm sorry, it's too painful to talk about."

Hama bowed her head and Katara shot him a sharp look.

"We understand," Katara said. "We lost our mother in a raid."

"You poor things." Hama covered Katara's hand with her own.

"I can't tell you what it means to meet you." Katara squeezed Hama's shoulders, smiling despite the sadness on her face.

"Or I, you," Hama replied. "I never thought I'd meet another Southern waterbender. I'd like to teach you what I know so you can carry on the Southern tradition when I'm gone."

Katara lit up, her eyes sparkling with joy. "Yes! Yes, I'd love to!" She clutched at her neck where their mother's pendant once rested. "To learn about my heritage… it would mean everything to me." Katara bowed. Sokka looked to Zuko, his boyfriend's face still turned away from the others.

Something didn't feel right.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

On the plus side, Katara’s new kinship with Hama distracted the older woman enough that Sokka was able to sneak his way into Zuko’s room. On the minus side, Zuko had withdrawn so far into himself that the only cuddling they did was because of Sokka’s determination to be the big spoon.

They’d been lying there for a while when Sokka decided to say something.

“I know you’re awake.” Zuko’s back stiffened, but he didn’t respond. “I’m not gonna make you talk about it — even though I think you should — but I’m here if you need me, ok?”

Zuko didn’t relax, not that Sokka really expected him to, but he did speak.

“I know it doesn’t make sense to you.” Zuko didn’t turn to look at him, and he kept his voice low like he wasn’t sure if he even wanted Sokka to hear him. Sokka clung tighter and listened. “It happened before I was born — before the _idea_ of me was born — but it was my people, _my blood_. We destroyed your village, stomped out your culture…. We _ripped your family apart_.”

“_Noooo_,” Sokka protested. “_Your great-grandfather_ screwed us over and some random firebender afraid of a hypothetical witch ripped my family apart, _not you_.”

“I came in on a war ship and threatened your grandmother.”

“Ok, yeah, _not _your finest moment,” Sokka conceded, “but there was a lot more going behind the scenes with you than we’d realized at the time. The _point_ is that you can’t take responsibility for everything every firebender has ever done.”

“But that’s what firelords _do_, Sokka.” Zuko finally turned around, his face very serious as he locked eyes with the Water tribesman. “Each act of Our countrymen is an act of the crown, each slight to them a slight to Us, each atrocity a reflection of Our leadership. I am my people and my people are me. To say the past isn’t my problem is to say Our legacy doesn’t mean anything.”

“But you weren’t the firelord when those things happened.”

“It _doesn’t matter_. Legacies work the same for blood as for crowns. Azulon didn’t stop Sozin as father and Uncle didn’t stop Azulon as Azula and I haven’t stopped father.”

“You’re working against him now.”

“Years too late. People in the Fire Nation are given their majority at thirteen. It’s when I was first allowed into the war room and when I would have been named Crown Prince if I hadn’t been banished. Every battle and imprisonment and death since then has been mine to carry, every year I have left this to go on added to my father’s failure, to my grandfather’s failure, to my great-grandfather’s megalomania. _We_ destroyed your village. _We _stomped out your culture. _We _came in warships and stole your benders, and your mother, and your hope.” Zuko’s eyes were burning, hotter than any fire, warmer that any kiss, and Sokka began to realize how incredibly out of his depth he was. “_That_ is Our history, Our mark on the world. It is a heavy burden, but it is was made for my shoulders. Let me carry it.”

If this was the reality of royalty, Sokka would take being a peasant quite happily, thank you.

“If you’ll let me help.”

Or, at least not a firelord.

“Deal.”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Zuko**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

The night was quiet and the air was still and Zuko was ripped from his fitful sleep. His limbs were frozen, his tongue like lead in his mouth. No sound escaped him.

He sat up.

He slipped from the comfort of his boyfriend’s arms and the warmth of their sheets and the security of the sturdy walls of the sturdy house, his bare feet stepping soft from the wooden floors to the wet grass to the twig-strewn grounds of the forest, each movement causing new pain as he travelled further and further from the others. The cold stabbed at him. The mist stabbed at him. The dew stabbed at him. His muscles moved against him, twisting _twisting _**_twisting _**in agony, in defiance, inside his skin as he raged and roared and burned everything down if only his jaw would crack open and let him unleash his torment. Every second, he wanted to scream, wanted to shatter the calm with shouts and threats and fire, but the night was quiet. The trees were still. The moon was full.

He walked on.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Sokka**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

When Sokka woke up, the bed was cold. He was disappointed, but not surprised. Discussions like theirs were always easier in the dark, and Sokka didn’t blame Zuko for not wanting to risk continuing it once the sun was up.

(Sokka blamed Zuko for thinking _Sokka _would try to continue the conversation, but that was a whole other thing for another time.)

He made his way to the dining room where a pseudo-Water Tribe breakfast was waiting for him, delicious and filling and almost-but-not-quite as good as Gram Gram’s. Aang poked cautiously at his plate. Toph scarfed down whatever she could pull in front of her. Zuko, Katara, and Hama were gone.

“Katara and Hama are waterbending somewhere,” Aang told him, carefully taking a bite of his akutaq, “and Zuko went for a walk.”

Sokka snuck a bite of akutaq, confirmed it was made with vegetable shortening, and loaded his plate.

“Firebenders wake up w_ay _too early,” Sokka muttered, shoving food into his mouth at a rate he could only accomplish when Katara wasn’t around to complain about it. He wasn’t sure how Hama got her hands on cloudberries and he didn’t care. They were a gift from the gods and he deserved them.

“And you woke up too late,” Aang complained. “We need to get a move on if we want to calm whatever angry spirit is attacking the village before the next full moon.”

Toph wrapped the last of her breakfast in a roll, shoved it all in her mouth in one go, gulped down the last of her milk, and let out a burp Sokka couldn’t even find gross, so impressed was he by the volume and length of it.

“Hurry up, Snoozles, we’ve got work to do.”

Sokka grabbed his plate as she dragged him away, Aang contently bouncing along behind them, and envied Zuko’s escape.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Nothing. They found absolutely, positively, com-fucking-pletely _nothing_. The lands were cared for, the animals were only hunted for food, and no one had committed an offense against the spirits. Or at least, there was no evidence of blasphemy large enough to warrant monthly kidnapping.

“Maybe the Moon Spirit just turned mean?” Toph suggested.

“Fuck you, Beifong,” Sokka growled at her, ignoring Aang’s worried groan. “The Moon Spirit is a gentle, loving lady who rules the sky with compassion and... _lunar goodness!”_

Toph turns to him, ready to throw down, when Aang suddenly calls to a passing villager; “_Excuse me, sir!_ Can you tell us anything about the spirit that's been stealing people?”

“Only one man ever saw it and lived,” the villager said, “and that's Old Man Ding.”

_Finally_, a lead.

Old Man Ding took a while to hunt down, the guy having apparently spent most of his day collecting supplies to turn his house into a vault where no moonlight could curse him. He moved surprisingly fast for someone who was so old, he was referred to as “Old Man Ding”. Or maybe the GAang was slower than they thought.

A thought to ponder.

_Ding has fear to motivate him, but we have Avatar business. But he probably feels more terrified than we do obligated, plus—_

“So what’s with you and the Moon Spirit?” Toph asked, interrupting his internal number crunching as they exited yet another store that Ding had already left.

“She was my first girlfriend,” Sokka answered shortly.

_He also knows the area better, so that’s definitely a factor._

Toph got a confused look on her face.

“...I thought she was married to the Ocean Spirit?”

“It’s a long story,” Sokka said.

_And groups are naturally slower. That’s just a fact._

Toph punched him in the side.

“I think we have time.”

Sokka rubbed his poor abused ribs and sighed. Everyone else already knew the story, he supposed it was only fair that Toph know it, too. Besides, Sokka never really got to talk about her, never really express his grief. Aang and Katara always felt guilty about not being able to stop Zhao, and discussing exes with your boyfriend or boyfriend’s uncle just felt weird on principal, and yes, Sokka has Zuko now, and Zuko is wonderful, but that doesn’t erase the feelings of his first love, nor his first heartbreak.

(Sometimes, it was the not talking that hurt.)

“Her name was Yue, and she was a princess….”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Their quest for Old Man Ding took them back near Hama’s home, and Sokka decided to stop by to check on Zuko. (And maybe get some afternoon delight, if he could convince the children to go on without him. He and Zuko could definitely use a bit of fun after the past few days.)

(Now, he didn’t mean to say that travelling with two twelve-year-olds and his younger sister was a total cockblock but it was a total cockblock and he had done nothing to deserve it.)

“You two—”

“Oh go bang your boyfriend.” Toph pushed him toward the house, and Aang yelled at him to make it quick as he rushed inside.

“_Mean!_” Sokka called at the airbender, grinning goofily. He ran for his bedroom.

No Zuko.

_Weird_. They’d decided on Sokka’s room when they saw how much smaller Zuko’s was. The bed there was lumpy, too. And the window was apparently placed so you got blinded first thing in the morning.

_“I’m a _firebender _and it was fucking awful,” _Zuko had complained.

Sokka checked his boyfriend’s room, anyway. Still no Zuko. He stuck his head out the window and shouted, “Aang, when did Zuko say he’d be back from his walk?”

“I don’t know!” Aang shouted back. “He talked to Hama and she told me before she left with Katara.”

_Zuko would never talk to Hama. _If not for how goddamn creepy she was, then how ashamed Zuko was of how his people had treated her.

“Sokka, we have to go!”

_Please be ok, Ani._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Zuko**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Zuko awoke to a cavern, unable to tell how long he’d been out. It was elaborate, for a waterbender’s prison. How had she managed to dig out a cave this big? It was _deep _into the mountain. How long had she been working on this? Was there an earthbender’s body somewhere in the dirt? How many workers had she compelled to install those shackles? That door? Who here had been forced to build their own cage?

There were dozens of people, all starved and filthy and scared. They twitched piteously at the light from Hama’s torch.

“Is this supposed to scare me?” Zuko asked, finally able to move his jaw but unable to light the bitch on fire as she checked the shackles of the prisoners around him. Everything hurt, and not in a good way. He couldn’t move his limbs for such pain and he had no idea when or _if _it would wear off.

Hama didn’t speak, merely sneered at his strung up form and went back to work.

“You should meet my sister, now _there’s _a twisted cookie,” he continued. “Tried to kill me once when I was eleven. She was nine. Still got a lot closer than you are.”

Hama shook at the cuffs nearest her, no longer testing their hold, just basking in the pain she was causing.

“She knew to strike when no one who cared was around to look for me, that’s where you screwed up.”

Hama swung an arm out, sending water at the walls, making sure to soak him through in his thin night clothes in the cold cave. The force of it knocked him flat and he coughed as the people around him moved weakly, licking at the walls, trying to gather what little they could.

Zuko refused to look at them, focusing instead on getting the last of the moisture from his lungs.

“So what are you going to do when they come looking for me?”

Hama smirked cruelly at her captives, but Zuko noticed the way she paused at his last question. He might not be able to burn her, but only God Himself could keep him from pissing people off.

“And they will come looking. And they _will _find me. Are you going to lock them up, too?” Zuko asked as Hama turned to leave, stepping on the people in her path as she went. Zuko called after her; “You going to lock up the last _real s_outhern waterbender? Hope of the Southern Water Tribe? Favored of the moon? _You know_ _not with whom you fuck, __you __savage bitch_.”

Hama paused, tense and furious, and stormed back, stomping harder on the ones too slow to have moved away the first time.

“I know _exactly _who I’m messing with, _l__ittle boy_,” she hissed hatefully, bending slightly to meet his gaze with poisonous eyes. “Disgrace to his nation, unwanted by his family, poisoning members of _my tribe_.”

“We have a lot in common, huh?”

She backhanded him with more force than a woman her age should have. Zuko stretched his jaw, absently tonguing the new cut in his lip.

(Azula hit harder.)

“I don’t know how you tricked them into befriending you, but _no more_,” she vowed, face close to his, breath stale, voice low. “You’re the son of the firelord, it won’t take much to convince them you’ve abandoned them.”

“Son of the firelord, yes, and nephew to The Dragon.”

Zuko opened his mouth and _roared_.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Sokka**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

“Didn't see no spirit,” Ding told them as Sokka helped barricade his windows, “just felt something come over me, like I was possessed.”

Toph stood silent, reading Ding’s pulse in the dirt. If he lied, she would send a signal beneath Sokka’s feet. The earth held still.

“Forced me to start walking toward the mountain,” Ding continued, pointing to the mountains in the distance. “I tried to fight it, but I couldn't control my own limbs.” Those limbs shook, from weakness or fear, Sokka couldn’t tell.

“It just about had me into a cave up there. And I looked up at the moon for what I thought would be my last glimpse of light, but then the sun started to rise and I got control of myself again! I just high-tailed it away from that mountain as quick as I could!”

Sokka hammered the last nail in and Old Man Ding fled to the safety of his blacked-out home.

_Why would—_

“Oh no!” Toph gasped. Aang and Sokka readied themselves for battle, but no danger came. “I _did _hear people screaming under the mountain. The missing villagers must still be there!”

They made off for the mountains, following Toph’s inhuman ears.

_Never again will I doubt her awesome might, _Sokka swore to himself, furious beyond belief that she had sensed them before only for everyone to wave it off as a prank.

They darted through the trees, and Sokka wished Toph could just pick them up on a slab and surf them to their destination, if only those villagers would scream a little louder.

(How awful was the world, that Sokka had to wish for a noisier pain.)

Sokka wanted to run back to the inn. He wanted to find Zuko, wanted him _here_, with them, where Sokka could be sure no spirit could hurt him.

(Zuko was _fire_, just as deadly and beautiful, and this spirit _hated _fire, and oh god, what if—)

They arrived at the mouth of a cave.

“This is the place,” Toph announced solemnly. She grabbed their hands and stepped into the darkness. “Let’s go.”

They descended, and Sokka didn’t know how long they walked before a light shone ahead, two torches on either side of a metal door. Aang and Sokka each grabbed a torch, and Toph shoved the door away, revealing a hollowed space. They stepped inside, turned, and a broken voice calls out in joy, “_We’re saved!”_

Toph wasted no time, running to the villagers and breaking their shackles open as Sokka and Aang pause in shock.

“I didn't know spirits made prisons like this,” Aang said mournfully. “Who brought you here?”

“It was no spirit,” a prisoner told them as Toph rushed past, pulling chains from the walls as she went.

“It was a witch!” a man insisted from the ground, and Sokka freezes in horror.

“She seems like a normal old woman, but she controls people like some dark puppetmaster.”

_The Moon Witch…._

“_Hama!”_

“Yes, the innkeeper!” another prisoner confirmed.

“We have to stop Hama!” Aang screamed, grabbing onto Sokka’s arms and shaking.

“I’ll get these people out of here,” Toph said. “You go!” She grabbed at cuffs and clenched her fists, all the chains freed from the walls, and Sokka wanted to go, he _needed _to go, that’s _his sister_ down there, motherly and capable and much more mature, but still the little girl whose crib he’d stood over and vowed to protect from all misery and pain, but he couldn’t. Not if Hama could do what they say she could.

“Toph, make a key and go with Aang,” Sokka choked out. “You can trap Hama from a distance, before she even knows you’re there,” he continued at their shocked silence. “You’re our best shot.”

Toph nodded, taking off her meteor bracelet and examining the cuffs to fit a key. Sokka turned to Aang.

“You’re the only one I know who cares about Katara as much as dad and I do,” he told him, voice low as if Toph wasn’t fully capable of hearing them anyway. Toph was their friend, and she loved them as much as they loved her, but there’s a certain bond between the siblings, a certain strength. Aang shared in that strength where Toph didn’t, and Sokka knew she understood that. “You’re the only reason I won’t go crazy with worry while I’m up here. _Take care of her._”

Aang met his gaze, strong and sure and serious as he rarely was.

“I will.”

Toph tossed the key at him and grabbed onto Aang. “Let’s go!”

They ran off into the dark and Sokka took a second for himself, just a second. He took a deep breath.

_Let’s go._

He turned to the prisoners.

“Anyone who can walk, grab the spare torch and help the others out of here,” Sokka ordered, moving toward the closest person with intact cuffs. He looked around, noting scorch marks on some of the walls. “Any firebenders in the cave?”

“She never took benders,” a woman told him, picking up the torch with one hand and an old man with the other. “Too hard to control.”

“No, she took one,” a teenager disagreed, sliding up close to the fire. “You were passed out, but there was some guy she brought in yesterday,” they continued. “He called her a savage and nearly burned her face off.”

_Oh no—_

“She did something to him and threw him in the back somewhere.”

_Oh god no—_

“Change of plan,” Sokka said, turning to the people around him. “I’m going to go look for him while the rest of you get the hell out of here. We’ll deal with your shackles after I find the firebender. _Move it, people!”_

The abled carried the others out of the cave as Sokka shined his torch around, searching for another path. Hidden behind a jutting edge, he found an opening.

_I’m coming, Zuko, just hold on._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Not for the first time, not for the last, Sokka wished for the others’ magic. If only he could see through the rocks like Toph. The tunneling was elaborate and Sokka wondered why Hama would do this, would bother with mazes and dead ends. What horrible games had she had planned? What ways of torture had she grown bored with?

The walls grew damp, and Sokka’s worry gained a new level. He checked either side of the cave and turned down the way that felt wettest. There, he would find Zuko. No doubt about it.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

The world felt over saturated, overwhelming, over dramatic, like one of the plays he and Zuko had seen in the Upper Ring. This was the part where the music would turn creepy. Soon, it would pick up into a great crescendo. Would it be for an epic battle? Or a tearful goodbye?

_No_, Sokka couldn’t afford to think like that. He couldn’t and he wouldn’t. Nevertheless, the last scenes of _The Bell Ringer_ wouldn’t leave his head.

_Don't go away._ _  
_ _Please won't you stay?_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

A quiet ripple, a gentle drip, Sokka turned into another cave. An underground lake, brightened by a crack in the ceiling where a sliver of moonlight shone through, stretched across the cavern. The end disappeared into a darkness, and the beginning held a weak figure, pale and still and completely submerged.

“_NO!” _Sokka screamed, diving into the waters. It couldn’t be Zuko. It _wasn’t allowed _to be Zuko. This _couldn’t _happen, not again, not to him.

It was Zuko.

Sokka dragged him back onto the land, dripping and panting and desperate, and began to work the water out of his lungs as Gran Gran had taught him to. The spirits _owed _him. It was time they paid up.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Zuko**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Everything after burning Hama was a blur. The woman had screamed — spewing rage and profanities the likes of which Zuko hadn’t heard since Uncle had first sat at his bedside post-Agni Kai — and lashed out with water recollected from the walls. Zuko had screamed out, sending more fire into the prison, and then things has gotten so very very cold, and then nothing.

And then light.

Zuko didn’t know how it happened, if it suddenly appeared or if it had been there all along and he had only just realized, but there was grass, and a pond, and walls of glittering ice. Before him stood a vision of beauty and wonder, strong and proud and worshiped for centuries.

“Tui,” Zuko breathed out. The spirit smiled.

“I prefer Yue.”

_Oh shit. What do I say what do I say what do I— she’s staring, say something!_

“Look, if this is about the whole oasis thing—”

She giggled.

“It’s not,” she assured him. “You kind of inadvertently saved the world by kidnapping Aang, actually, but let’s not get into that.”

“No, let’s definitely get into that,” Zuko argued. He had no idea how he’d accidentally saved the world, but he wanted the ammo for the next time one of the others got annoying.

“We have limited time, Prince Zuko,” Yue admonished gently. She was roughly his age, but she pulled off Mom Voice with an ease he had only heard from Katara. Zuko bowed his head.

“Yes, ma’am.”

She smiled again, a sweet sort of thing that could probably make flowers grow if they weren’t in some sort of spirit quest in Zuko’s head. Hopefully he wouldn’t wake up from this one as exhausted as the last time.

“You’re in a lake below the mountain,” she said. “La has you in a sort of… stasis. You won’t drown, but you won’t get any better. She can’t hold you for long, but help is on the way. Hama is dealing with your friends,” she continued with a scowl. “She’s weak from her burns. She may have healed the surface but she had no time to deal with the deeper damage. Further, she’s lost Our favor and Katara has always been stronger than her. She will lose,” Yue assured him, “and you will be fine. Don’t worry.”

“How do you know?”

“Life is like a river, following a path long determined by a force greater than us. You see the river as it travels, like a leaf in the current. I see it from above.” She flicked her fingers up carelessly, dainty wrist twisting, pale lips pulled into a playful smirk. Yue tilted her head back and gazed into the nothing — no stars, no clouds, no Her. “Time is an illusion, and so is death. We are all connected, all rivers flowing from the same ocean. If you listen hard enough, you can hear the living breathe together.” She closed her eyes, her expression morphing into something he couldn’t name. “I’m gone, but I’m not. I’m dead, but I’m here. I am Tui, and Tui is I, and We see all — your subjects, my tribe… Sokka.”

Zuko was in awe of the vision around him, but that didn’t stop him from acknowledging that they had just stepped into awkward territory. Trying to find something to say to the spirit of the woman who’d loved your boyfriend before your countryman forced her to sacrifice herself to save her people was difficult enough, what do you do when she mentions said boyfriend? Was this going to be another shovel talk? A stay-away-from-my-man talk? A you-Fire-Nation-scum talk?

“You two are good for each other.”

_Excuse me?_

“The fuck?” _Wait no—_

Yue giggled again and sat, gesturing for Zuko to join her. Numbly, he sank to the ground.

“You two encourage each other, and watch out for each other, and keep each other on your toes.” She nudged at his side playfully. “That thing with Chief Hakoda was hilarious.”

“Well, Toph helped,” Zuko demurred, looking away bashfully. “I would have been way too obvious if she hadn’t let me practice on her.”

“Yeah, I like her.” Yue grinned wide and scooted over. She sighed softly and leaned her head against his shoulder. “Agni likes you, you know. So do I. So does La. ” She wrapped herself around his arm and buried her nose in his shirt. “I’m glad Sokka has you.”

She didn’t sound sad. She _felt _sad, though Zuko didn’t know how he could tell. He wondered if spirits could cry.

He rested his head on hers.

“Tell me about your tribe,” he asked. He felt Yue smile.

“Every building is carved in ice, and waterways run through the entire city. I was in a boat passing through when Sokka appeared….”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Sokka**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Zuko had to wake up. He _had _to wake up or Sokka literally _Did Not Know _what he would do.

Sokka pushed at his chest, absently noting his bruises with a sense of relief, the visual proof that Zuko hadn’t been drained. Sokka breathed into his mouth, numbly noting his warmth with a sense of comfort, the physical evidence that there was still some fire in him. But he still didn’t move.

Sokka worked faster, carrying on and on with a growing sense of desperation, starting to understand how the Earth Kingdom hunchback with the hard to pronounce name could feel so defeated he just curled around his love and died.

_When the years have all come and gone,_  
_they'll find beneath the ground_ _  
_ _our two bodies joined as one._

Sokka pushed harder.

_No no no no NO! _he thought angrily. _You are _not _allowed to die! You’re not allowed to do this to me, you son of a jackass!_

“Don’t you fucking do this, Ani,” he ordered, breathing into Zuko’s mouth again. Against his will, the song in Sokka’s head played on.

_Eat my body and drink my blood,_  
_Vultures of Jiǎo Jià,_  
_so that death more than this life could_ _  
_ _join our two names as one._

Zuko’s chest remained still.

_Let my love find the light of day_ _  
_ _in the light of the universe._

_Come on, come on!_ Sokka continued to work. Zuko continued to lie there. Tears Sokka had lost the strength to suppress started to fall. His arms grew weaker. His pacing was off. He placed his ear on Zuko’s chest. Nothing. He held a blade below Zuko’s nose. Nothing. He pressed his fingers against Zuko’s neck. Nothing.

Nothing nothing _nothing!_

“Nothing.” His voice cracked as he lowered his head, pressing his forehead to Zuko’s, trying in vain to stifle his sobs. “I should have gone looking for you.” Sokka pulled Zuko’s body into his arms. “I shouldn’t have bought that ‘gone for a walk’ crap, you don’t even like nature.” Sokka held Zuko’s back against his chest. “I just thought you were avoiding me. How dumb is that?” He let out a wet, humorless laugh. He laid Zuko’s head on his shoulder. “There’s no way you were stupid enough to think I’d want to keep talking about royal duties in the light of day, I should have realized.”

Sokka buried his face in Zuko’s neck and tried to calm himself. It wasn’t working.

“Somehow, this doesn’t feel dramatic enough for you,” he said. “Like, lying dead in the arms of your lover is super dramatic, but not for you. You thrive on this shit…. Thrived.” He raised his head again and looked down at Zuko’s slack face. “Should I monologue? Is that what’s meant to happen here? I’m not sure, I didn’t pay as much attention to story boarding as you did. Or should I just cry while the stage fades to black?”

His voice continued to crack and Sokka just curled tighter around him. This wasn’t fair. This _wasn’t supposed to happen_. Zuko was supposed to return home, take his crown, confront his demons and his family and his past. He was supposed to finally let Uncle teach him how to play pai sho, and finally let Toph tear up Ozai’s statues of himself, and finally show Sokka any picture of Lady Ursa that hadn’t been destroyed by Azula or pirates. This wasn’t Zuko’s destiny, cut down by someone mad with hatred.

_Well that sounds familiar_, Sokka thought nonsensically. _I wonder what Azula’s going to think_. He felt hysterical at the mental image. ‘_That bitch isn’t even _related _to him, there is a _waiting list_—’_

Sokka cut the thought off right there. He couldn’t ignore it, but fuck everything if he didn’t want to keep the knowledge from sinking in.

_You _would _do this to me, you goddamn diva. You had _no right_…._

Sokka took a deep breath.

“_Please come sleep here in my arms. You know I'd die for love of you. Dance my Zuko, sing my Zuko, beyond, and beyond beyond…._”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Zuko**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

“So he steps wrong or something and _whoomp_, right into the turtle seals pen!”

The two burst into laughter, curled tight around each other, faces sticky with tears both sad and joyful.

They had so much more in common than they thought.

“That’s nothing! Once—” Zuko stopped as his body tensed. All his muscles locked. All sensation ended. He looked to Yue, asking silently what was going on.

“Our time is up, Prince Zuko,” she said sadly. “It was lovely getting to know you, and I’m glad Sokka has you by his side.” She gave Zuko a soft kiss on the cheek. “Tell him it’s ok to love again, and thank you, and some of my very best times were the ones I had with him, and I wish him all that joy one thousand fold.” She held his face, and he felt himself fading as he watched her begin glowing and she rose to join the sky as he fell fell _fell_. Her words echoed around him. “He did all he could. I would never have asked for more.”

The world disappeared for a second, no light or sound or scent, and reappeared slowly to the melody of _The Bell Ringer_’s great finish.

“_Please let my poor soul fly free. It—_”

“_It is not death_,” Zuko croaked out, “_to die for you._” His throat was shot and his voice was weak and even the Ember Island Players would have something to say about his range, but Sokka heard it. Zuko valiantly forced his eyelids open and gazed up at his sobbing, snotty, glaring boyfriend.

“You _asshole!” _Sokka tightened his hold and started to cry even harder, spewing a string of profanities Zuko hadn’t heard since he’d burned Hama’s face off. Zuko cut him off once the swears began repeating;

“_Dance My Indira? Really?_ You’re so dramatic.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Sokka**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Hama was contained. Katara was broken. Fire Nation justice was swift and finite and Sokka couldn’t find it in himself to feel sorry.

(“These people know about you, about Toph and Katara—” “They’ll keep quiet, but we have to leave _now_. Life debts only count for so much, we shouldn’t push it.” “Even the metalbending?” “That one’s up in the air on whether they noticed and I’m not going to call attention to it by asking.” “Fair enough, let’s get the hell out of here.”)

That wicked thing of a woman had given everyone nightmares, her fellow Water Tribesman the worst of all. Sokka could barely function without Zuko in his line of sight and Katara shared rock tents with Toph, too afraid to expose herself to the moon.

Sokka hoped Yue didn’t take it personally.

Zuko was weak from what he called his “time in stasis”. (Sokka had no idea what that meant, but Zuko told him it involved meditating into the spirit world and completing a series of quests for a number of spirits in order to return to the physical plain. That was the plot of _The Seven Keys of Koto _but Sokka figured he’d let Zuko have his fun.)

Katara held regular healing sessions, but progress was slow moving. Zuko assured them all that he’d felt similar after some fevered vision in Ba Sing Se, so it only stood to reason that he would feel better soon, but that didn’t stop the hovering. It would never stop the hovering because Sokka absolutely _refused _to stop hovering and his beautiful beautiful friends were good enough to enable him.

“Baby, if I promise not to do any katas, will you get Toph to unshackle my feet?”

“No deal.”

“_Sokka!”_

“Fool me twice—”

_“_What if we get attacked?”

“Then someone will toss you a key.”

“‘_Someone_’?” Zuko asked, smirking. “Does that mean everyone has a copy? Do _you _have a copy?” He looked at Sokka coyly. “Do I win something if I find it?”

“_No!” _Katara yelled at them from where she was preparing dinner.

“_Killjoy!” _Sokka shouted back. As much as he appreciated everyone’s concern over his boyfriend, he’d also really appreciate having some private time. _But that’s a complaint for later._ He sat down beside Zuko and stretched his legs over the other’s lap. “Today, after your check up, _if _Katara gives you the ok, we’ll put away the chains until there’s a fun reason to use them.”

“_I can hear you!”_

“_Good!”_

“_You—!”_

A distant crash was heard and the campsite shook.

“_We’re ok!” _The wordsfloated in the breeze and offered no reassurance.

“You’re lucky I have to go check on Aang,” Katara said, marching off to earthbender practice.

“_You’re lucky bluh bluh blah bah bah_,” Sokka mocked, watching her form disappear into the trees. “Little sisters are the worst.”

“Preaching to the choir, baby.”

Sokka settled back down, draping his arms around Zuko’s neck, subtly comforting himself with the steady tick of his pulse.

_Alone at last._

“There’s something I have to tell you.”

Sokka’s lips stopped an inch from Zuko’s.

“_Now?” _he asked incredulously.

“Yes,” Zuko confirmed. “About my time in the spirit world.”

_But cuddle time! _Sokka thought pathetically, but he kept it to himself. Zuko had been really vague about his stasis, and _really _uncomfortable with questions about it. It was time for Sokka to do his good boyfriend duty and listen. He climbed out of Zuko’s lap and arranged himself in the dirt beside him with only the smallest of pouts.

“Ok, Ani, what’s up?”

“Well, I have a message for you….”

**Author's Note:**

> **1: **_Akutaq: _according to Google, it’s an Inuit dessert that can be made in a variety of ways to include meat, fish, berries, sweetening, and animal fat. I tried finding something breakfast specific, but everything I saw required some type of meat, so Aang couldn’t eat it. Akutaq, on the other hand, can apparently be made with vegetable shortening instead of meat or animal fat, and berries seemed kinda breakfasty, so I went with that.
> 
> Also, cloudberries are real and found in arctic regions. How did Hama get them? Who cares. They’re found everywhere in the ATLA world, I guess. Whatever.
> 
> **2: **The part where Zuko lights Hama on fire? Originally not in the story. It was added later, replacing a scene I’d written where Zuko wakes up, Hama gone, surrounded by his fellow prisoners, who explain to him the food&water rations/new prisoner schedule, while Zuko inwardly reflects on how to tell them that, one way or another, that schedule was ended bc if they weren’t rescued, everyone was going to starve/dehydrate to death bc no goddamn way was Hama risking dealing with an Imperial Trained Firebender and she wasn’t coming back until she was sure Zuko was good and dead. But then I told myself, S_elf_, I said, _this story is supposed to be funny. Instead of Zuko waking with Hama already gone, let’s keep her there for a while longer and have some of Zuko being a little shit. It’ll be great! He can just be super annoying, steadily pissing Hama off. It’ll be very Henry the Eighth from Ghost._
> 
> But I fucked that up and made it just as sad. This episode is _really hard to find funny bits for, ok?_
> 
> **3: **I can’t remember if it’s ever outright stated or just strongly implied that Iroh developed the Breath of Fire technique, but Iroh developed the Breath of Fire technique, and thus Hama didn’t know about it. She’d fucked up Zuko’s limbs — his only way of bending, as far as she was aware — and thus thought she was safe, hence why she was dumb enough to get right in his face.
> 
> **4: **Originally, Sokka was still gonna be the one going after Hama w Aang but that just didn’t make any sense to me. Toph was clearly the better strategy. And speaking of Toph, why didn’t she just metalbend everyone out instead of making a damn key and unlocking everyone one at a time? It can’t be that they’re trying to fly under the radar as non-firebenders; they helped that river city clean the pollution using water/earthbending & even airbending if someone bothered to think enough about how a girl could fly so fucking high while pretending to be a spirit, so literally no sense was made here in canon. Good thing we ignore that shit in the name of screwing around.
> 
> **5: **According to google, jiǎo jià is Chinese for “gallows”, and since the original lyric was _Vultures of Montfaucon_, (Montfaucon being an infamous gallows), that’s the name I went with for the new lyric.
> 
> **6: **Y’all can picture that final conversation going however you want it to go bc I really don’t have the emotional range to write it and also I had no other idea how to end this thing it already got way too long
> 
> **A/N: **So, I know it’s been for-fucking-ever, and this installment doesn’t really match tones the whole way through, and those two things are linked and here’s how;
> 
> I started this bitch 2yrs ago and then dropped it instantly for something else. Can’t remember what, but yeah. Most recently, I’d been working on a more serious fic with an entirely different tone, and switching back to humor/crack was not as smooth a transition as I’d hoped. Also, this episode is fucked up anyway, so making it funny was a long shot to begin with, but this is where the plot bunny bit me, so here we are.
> 
> To any new readers, yo! To any returning readers, _yooooo! _I can’t believe you’re still willing to read any of this after all these years. _Thanks! _And I love you. <3


End file.
